As it turns out, I’m kind of bad at baking. I don’t really know how this happened, I used to be AWESOME at baking. I’d be in my fraternity house kitchen, at like 9 pm, and it would go something like this:
Cultured, Handsome Fraternity Brother: Hey J- whatcha doin?
Cultured, Handsome Me: Making brownies for us and the neighbors!
Cultured, Handsome Frat Bros: Cool!
This simply doesn’t happen any more. Recently, I’ve started making daft mistakes, such as forgetting the second cup of flour in a batch of peanut butter chocolate chip cookies (they were still pretty good- they just kind of congeal together and you have to sort of paw at them a little bit to get one in your mouth.) This time, I was attempting to make cheddar bay biscuits, like the amazing ones at Red Lobster that you find you’ve eaten the entire basket of before you even order your food.
This time, I didn’t quite appropriate the dough such that it might match the recommended yield of 12 biscuits. I made nine. NINE BIGGUNS. They were done after I left them in the oven a few extra minutes, but they had flattened under their own weight and turned into what was more of a large-diameter cheesy cookie. We dipped them into L’s perfectly cooked soup.
HOW TO MAKE PERFECTLY COOKED SOUP
- Saute (fancy French word meaning “cook on the stove”) two chicken breasts in a pan with olive oil, salt, and pepper.
- Let that cool, and then chop it into cubes.
- In a big pot that looks like you could put soup in it, put in:
- a tablespoon of olive oil
- two cloves of garlic
- one onion, chopped
- saute all o’ that. WHILE THAT’S HAPPENING:
- clean and chop some celery and carrots.
- add them to the pot, saute for five-ish minutes.
- add the chicken,
- one bay leaf,
- some oregano,
- some thyme,
- some black pepper,
- 1 cup of rice, and
- 6 cups of water.
- BOIL’ER UP.
- turn down the heat, simmer for a half-hour.
- In a liquid measuring cup (the glass one), add two tablespoons of flour, two tablespoons of olive oil, and one cup of milk.
- Stir it up.
- Pour it in the pot of soup.
- Stir it.
- Eat it.