DO: Follow this recipe at Skinnytaste for veggie burgers. (The mayonnaise is really good).
DO NOT, out of sheer denial, pretend that you have a blender, when you know in your heart that you do not. Should you follow along this path, you will begin to operate under the assumption that blender-related activity will proceed normally.
It will not.
NOTE: Electric mixer ≠ blender
OTHER NOTE: Electric mixer = mostly just throwing around a buncha beans in a bowl with some oatmeal and nasty egg bits. And a pepper.
OTHER OTHER NOTE: We DID figure out how to make squishy-type veggie-hash with mayonnaisey topping.